Public Speaker | Author | Entrepreneur | Nurse

IT IS OK TO NOT BE OK4 min read

“I am fine.” “I am good” “I am ok.”

How long are you going to keep pretending to be fine? How long are you going to keep lying to yourself? How long do you plan to keep up the brave face? We have all been there. You are probably there right now as you are reading this. So, I am going to ask you, how are you actually feeling? Will you tell me what’s actually going on in your life? Can I see what is beneath the brave mask you put up? What is behind that fake smile you’ve grown accustomed to showing?

We are humans. We go through a lot of trials and tribuations everyday. It is a normal thing. You don’t have to pretend to be alright just to avoid making people worry about you. You are not being a burden. Yes, that is what you probably think, that by telling people the problems you are going through, you are being a burden on them. Well, that is true to some extent to people who don’t worry about your wellbeing. People that love you and truly care for you will listen to you and be there for you. You don’t have to carry that burden all by yourself.

Or are you worried about what people would say? “He complains a lot.” “She is sick again.” Such remarks tend to make you want to keep things to yourself, to be honest. I can relate to that. Yeah, I don’t like telling people I am sick. Not because I am worried they’d make comments like that. But rather because I am capable of taking care of myself, and unless necessary, don’t like getting people involved. I hate assuming the role of a patient, lol.

Maybe you are like that too. You don’t want to make people worried. So you tell them that you’re fine. While it sounds noble, I don’t advice you do that. I get scolded for that myself. I try to tell people too. Here’s the truth, if you don’t tell people close to you, they would feel like you don’t value their feelings towards you, or that you don’t trust them enough to show your vulnerability to them. Whatever reason you have, you shouldn’t bottle up everything. It is alright to show your loved ones that you are going through something.

I think you probably have it in mind that by putting up a brave face, you’re making it easier for yourself. But what is the point of hiding it when it hurts? The downside of keeping things bottled up is that once your bottle gets filled up, it explodes. And that gets worse from zero to one hundred real quick.

I was lying down one day thinking to myself, “I am going through all of these and I am trying to put up a brave face while it hurts so much inside my heart. Why am I tormenting myself just to make people happy while I am in pain?”

I realized that I was putting up such a brave face for no reason. I had accepted that I was in a bad condition and was fighting. I saw the circle I was going through. I was getting sick again. I realized that I didn’t tell people I was sick becuase yeah, I get the “you are sick again” comments. But then it dawned on me, so what the hell if I am sick again? It is not like I dedided to be sick again. I was going through so much and you are making it sound as if I had a choice in the matter. It is not like I had a conference meeting with the disease before it attacked my body.

So from that moment, I promised myself not to hurt in silence just so I don’t bother people or be a burden on them. I decided to tell people what I actually felt. If someone has a problem with my health or wellbeing, let them not ask me again, lol.

But seriously, don’t hold back or hide your pains just so people won’t be worried about you or because you feel like you are being a burden. However, you shouldn’t go about telling everyone. Only tell people you can count on and probably people you have to tell, like colleagues at work. And please don’t go posting in on social media or forums. 98% of people don’t really care.

I saw a post one day about someone being sick on Facebook, and I saw so many likes on the post. I was like, were they liking the fact that he’s sick or what the sick hell was that supposed to mean?

I will wrap up this post by telling you this…

It is ok to hurt…
It is ok to be in pains…
It is ok to cry…
It is ok to bleed…
It is ok to NOT BE OK!


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